CONFESSIONS OF A MACRONEUROTIC — ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN: I LOVE THE MAYOR


Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious.

― Rumi
HaHaHaHaHaHa HaHaHaHaHaHa HaHaHaHaHaHa HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa
— Carol

By Carol Pearlman – August 9, 2015

First of all, let me say this: I want to outlaw all financial contributions for political campaigns in this country; and immediately fire all the lobbyists. Turn them into social workers & send them out to do good works in troubled neighborhoods, like ours, for example. Vallejo can use all the help we can get – or can we?

Investors, please take note; I read this startling information online:
“…Standard & Poor’s has raised the City of Vallejo’s investment rating from BB- to BBB – with a stable outlook. This equates to a three step jump, which equates to the City has been moved out of the “speculative – grade” category and has returned to having an “investment grade” rating. Having an investment – grade category rating means potentially improved investment or borrowing opportunities…”

No doubt the mayor will carry this message to the world when he travels to the Philippines & Japan later this month.

More good news: Andrew Young, former U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations came to Vallejo to inaugurate an institute whose purpose is “to improve the fortunes and futures of those 15 to 25 years old.” Young spoke at a meeting in a downtown waterfront restaurant. He gazed through the windows & said, “…I don’t know Vallejo, but people tell me y’all have problems here. I can’t imagine that. I can’t imagine a waterfront like this, the beautiful hills and mountains. Problems? Problems are challenges that make you invent new solutions.”

Great sounding stuff. Tidbits like these give me goosebumps & confirm the reasons I chose Vallejo in the first place. What we need, in my humble opinion, is a city council full of savvy business people, interested in developing this jewel of a city to its rightful grandeur as a thriving, beautiful, historic place in the center of the bay area, and who know how to do it. Other cities have done it. Why can’t we?

When I contemplate some of the decisions made by the powers that be in Vallejo, I think of the mythic wise men of Chelm, those infamous village idiots who made all the wrong decisions for their town. Case in point: the waterfront utility storage boxes we paid some well-meaning artist, selected by a jury, to decorate “graffiti style.”

Other cities pay to get rid of that kind of stuff on their public walls, but we in Vallejo, with the astuteness of the wise men of Chelm, paid good money out of our participatory budgeting “beautification program,” to get graffiti painted on our public waterfront for all the world to see. Ok, if they want, for drawings of birds & whatnot, but graffiti, in my opinion, sends out the wrong message.

Don’t get me started on that sculpture item planted on the corner of Georgia & Mare Island Way, for all the world to see. Who’s watching the new buildings & designs on the waterfront? Who’s protecting our beautiful public spaces from the anything-goes attitude of our arts community? What’s this about a cement factory on primo riverside property? Really? And how’d some dentist get a hundred year lease (is that true?) on what in my opinion is the best commercial spot in the entire city? That gorgeous, grassy place between the ferry & Independence Park, should contain a fine restaurant, a lovely tea room, gift shop, hot-dog/taco stand, candy store/ice-cream parlor, bicycle rental, paddle-boat station, news stand, souvenir studio, summer bandstand… isn’t that what we want for Vallejo?

I’m off the meds now but unapologetically still cranky. I wish someone would take out the garbage for me.

I got elected to the Vallejo Board of Beauty & Design & given the title of Board Member. My outspoken nature might get me thrown out sooner or later, but meanwhile, let me tell you, sitting up on that dais, practicing the rules of order, speaking into a microphone in a room open to the public, discussing the beautification of our city with intelligent talented people who want to improve Vallejo is my idea of a real good time.

At my first meeting, the only people in the audience were my sister & brother-in-law who flew in from Florida to help celebrate my birthday that week, & took pictures of me sitting up there on my high horse.

My squeaking caught the attention of the mayor who invited me to his office to make plans for Independence Park. We both want a park we can be proud of, and the Mayor has promised he will make it happen. I call him the Giver of the Green Light and believe he’ll keep his word.

At the risk of being lynched, I wish to say I love Mayor Osby Davis. I know it’s inflammatory & revolutionary to talk such words on these hallowed pages, in the very annals of the infamous angry finger-pointing VIB that I admire & respect, but I’m here to tell you I’m quite fond of this handsome dark-skinned fellow who lords it over our city, with his quiet voice & sharp zoot suits.

The mayor is a gentleman, warm, charming, eager & able to help. When we sit & talk together, plotting & planning the creation of Independence Park, it’s as though I’m with my father. His voice is gentle & reassuring. With all due respect, I feel like I could sit on his honorable lap while he tells me he’ll support my efforts & that I should keep moving forward with my project. He’s my daddy.

I went to City Hall last week and watched the vote on whether or not to pay for the mayor’s travels, with councilwoman Verder-Aliga, to Japan & the Philippines, which turned out as expected.

That night, however, I was especially interested in the main feature of the evening, the final showdown between our Mayor & City Council members, and the lawyers for the medical marijuana dispensary people. Our City Manager presented the case simply & eloquently. He enumerated all the facts & figures that boiled down to this: spend a million dollars to fight them, or give them what they want. The vote came in loud & clear; give it to them, with the mayor casting the only no vote.

Then there were parents who got up to express heart-wrenching fear for their children’s safety in our schools, demanding a meeting with the school powers to deal with intolerable bullying & violence in our schools. Violence in the schools! Is there anything worse? How did Standard & Poor miss that? We must change that immediately.

By 9 PM I was worn out & decided to return home & watch the rest of the show on TV. Once home I did some stuff & started up the stairs to my bedroom when I realized I didn’t have my mobile phone. Heart pounding, I ran to my garage (ha, I can’t run, I just think about it & lose my breath), drove back to City Hall, climbed the front steps, burst into the room where they were in recess, & stumbled right into the mayor.

“What happened?” he asked, helping me with the oxygen tank falling off my shoulder. “I’ve lost my phone,” I blurted, hardly able to speak. Calmly, he asked, “Where were you sitting?” & while I led him to the spot near the front of the room, he told me he had lost his phone once & it was an awful experience. I pointed to my chair. He got down on his knees & searched under the seat. After a moment he looked up, smiling from ear to ear, and handed my precious little Samsung over to me. I was so happy I threw my arms around him and cried with joy.

So, if you happened to have caught me in the act of hugging the mayor in City Hall that night, and were wondering what the heck is going on, you now know.


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'CONFESSIONS OF A MACRONEUROTIC — ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN: I LOVE THE MAYOR' have 10 comments

  1. August 9, 2015 @ 8:31 pm Knifed

    Get in line, honey. There is a trail of broken bodies behind you that fell for the Mayor’s doe-like eyes and sweet-talking words. Watch your back, the knife comes quick and you’re so charmed you don’t expect it. But it’ll come.

    Reply

    • September 14, 2015 @ 2:09 pm srsly

      Just because the mayor helped you find your phone and said a couple nice comments doesn’t make him qualified to run this city. In fact, he has shown over an over again that he is barely interested in doing so.

      Reply

  2. August 9, 2015 @ 11:00 pm curious

    good advice, knifed.

    Reply

  3. August 10, 2015 @ 3:07 pm pam

    Such a great article and place I would love to go to..keep it up girl..they have to listen to you!

    Reply

  4. August 11, 2015 @ 3:44 am Art Cline

    Carol …… Right on. I can see why you like (love) the mayor.

    Reply

  5. August 11, 2015 @ 7:52 am Benbow

    We have nationally known artists working on the art in Vallejo… You sir no nothing of art. And what you know of the mayor is even less. He is gentalmanly in mouth only. This place is improving and I hope you do not recognize it one day. When that day comes it will be people are beautifying it, not just because you show to a meeting.

    Reply

  6. August 11, 2015 @ 5:49 pm anon

    Nationally known? “Artists”…..plural? Any of them displayed in the HUB for the vagina display?

    Reply

  7. August 12, 2015 @ 10:48 pm seentoomuch

    Glad you like him, Carol. I see him as a liability for the City, truly — and someone who is only and always out for his own self-interests. As for helping with *anything*, as the saying goes, talk doesn’t cook rice. If anything ever comes of his nice words, I will be shocked.

    Regarding the art projects around town, ask yourself, are they better visually and in terms of community than grey boxes? I think so. Underground utilities, and wherever utility boxes go for them? Not gonna happen in any future I can imagine.

    Reply

  8. August 16, 2015 @ 2:55 pm David Peaece

    Another delightful article. Keep the faith on the Mayor, negative thoughts and energy accomplish nothing good. All you need is his support, and you got it. Thanks. I am your number one fan.

    Reply

  9. September 10, 2015 @ 12:44 am no total daccord

    Miss Carol,
    Thank you for a fun piece. We agree that the art as reflected on the utilility boxes, as well as the art on the poor planter boxes downtown. is all embarassing crap. It is, however, indicative of the Vallejo general and private self esteem….poor at best. Shame on Tom Arie-Donch for selecting the artists that he did!!!You are so right, it is an awful waste of tax money fcor Measure B funds. Can we paint them out and start over? Is it too late to ask Tom? The poor dear meant well! When we spoke to him while he was lobbying for this grant money, he purported that the art would be spectacular and dress up downtown. Should b\ we blame Erin Bakke for hiring her girlfriends? Whatt to do now? Tloo late, too embarrassing, typically Vallejo? When we will ever learn? Poor Tommy, his name is on it now.

    However, wutth reespect to the mayor, you need to tread lightly with our well known Osby; he can be serpentine, very serpentine! Don’t jump in bed with him just yet girl.

    As for the schools, Vallejo has sunken to the bottom one percent in the entire state. It is run by religious zealots and racists. There is unchecked violence in the classrooms against both teachers and students. Bullying and sexual assaults happen and little if anything is ever done. This is not to even mention a recent murder and frequent riots. If you are new to Vallejo, put all children in private schools, but if you cannot afford that, get in line for a charter school. A new one is coming to town soon It is called Caliber (I think). For pity sake, avoid Vallejo public schools at all costs. Please tell everytone you know not to vote for any more bond money until we clean up the cultural climate within the public schools. Will you or any of your friends pleasw, please run for school board in 2016?

    Reply


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